I simultaneously felt the heat rise to my face by the implication and the doubt take root in my heart as the question was raised, “Well is God mad at you?” I was smack in the midst of some of the most troubling experiences I’ve ever had. I was broken and beaten up by loss, disappointment, disillusionment, and confusion. I needed hope and I needed compassion. Instead, I received blame.
Despite being a recipient of God’s amazing grace and love for many years, that question echoed in my mind for some time as I weighed the scales of God’s mercy against His judgement and I feared I was more deserving of the judgement. Why shouldn’t God be mad at me? I claim to know Him, but often don’t look like it. I fall far too often and I make so many mistakes. I blow it with my husband, my kids, and my friends all the time. Maybe He was just tired of it. Maybe His mercy had run out and all this heartache was my own doing because God was angry.
If similar questions have found their way into your heart, please let me tell you it has no basis. Mamas, you love your children. They often may make you angry. But let me ask you, do you spend your nights seeking ways to “get back at them” and “make them pay” or do you cry and long for their best no matter what? The word says in Psalm 103:8, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love,” and that He has an everlasting love and unfailing kindness (Jeremiah 31:3 NIV). Does this sound like a God who takes delight in causing you pain?
I know what a good daddy looks like. Perhaps you don’t. Perhaps you believe God is often mad at you because you knew what it was like to have an earthly father who was mad at you, but it is not an accurate perception. My father was not perfect, but he was loving and kind and gave me the ability to understand my Father in Heaven in that light. When I failed (and I failed often and I failed big), my father’s heart broke. He sought ways to restore me, not break me. Though he often had to punish me, it was full of mercy and it was meant to bring me good not harm. That is how God operates.
So what of punishment? While God may let us suffer the consequences of our choices, He does not make bad things happen to us. Your suffering is not a sign that God is angry at you. It is a sign that you can trust the words of Jesus who says in John 16:33 “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” He wanted us to know why troubles come (because we are in this world, not because God is angry) and that because He had overcome, we could find our hope in Him. All of our hurt in this world offered to God is never wasted. He says, “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow” (Jeremiah 31:13). Believe it and run to Him in hope and not away from Him in fear. Then, watch what He will do.
I have heard women say they are certain they had a miscarriage (or other traumatic experience) because God was paying them back for past living. This is an absolute myth. My friends, whenever you are tempted to believe your hurt is due to God’s anger, please know that is one of the greatest lies on earth. Our circumstances may be due to our own choices like being in debt because we’ve made poor spending decisions, or being out of favor with someone because we’ve been selfish. They are NOT because of God’s wrath. He is waiting to help us, guide us, and love us through the worst of our mistakes and struggles.
Is God angry with me? Absolutely not! And He is not angry with you either. Please let the truth sink in deep today. No matter what you’ve done in the past or what you struggle with today, He loves you and He is for you. Message me anytime you struggle to believe it.